April 2012
11 posts
“51 votes used to win in the Senate. Now, you need 60. I forget why. Something about a Black President.”
—Bill Maher rocks.
MY ROOMMATE AND I CHAT ABOUT THE NEWS OF THE DAY
- Me: Did you hear about Dick Clark?
- E: Oh no, did he die?
- Me: Yeah.
- E: (so earnestly) What did Ryan Seacrest say?
THERE IS A STUPID RACCOON THAT TRIES TO GET INTO OUR GARBAGE EVERY NIGHT. ONE OF MY ROOMMATES TEXTS ME ABOUT IT AT 2AM SOMETIMES.
- K: I'm having mad raccoon drama tonight. This one bastard, that I call Clevis (because he's so dumb), keeps creeping up and causing a ruckus.
- K: Then I yell at him and turn the lights on. Then Clevis slinks away, and slinks back when he thinks I'm gone. I'm not gone, Clevis, I live here. Dumb jackass.
- K: I have footage of him on the vid cam now. I hate Clevis so much, but I fear him no more.
- K: Clevis will not get the best of me!
- K: Stay tuned for tomorrow nights interactions with Clevis!
Do you guys think it’s acceptable for me to cry when I talk about the new J.K. Rowling book or should I try to reel it in a little bit or something.
“I wish I had perogies. That’s one of my biggest regrets right now.” - I actually just said this out loud.
HAPPY EXAMS, EVERYONE!
Saturday night
- K: Let's order Swiss Chalet.
- Me: YES.
- K: We can order online for delivery! Are you on the site already?
- Me: Yep. I already made an account too.
- K: Why are we single?
“Life’s best running joke is when stupid people are really sure of their intelligence.”
—
A guy was walking in front of me and had an NBC pin on his backpack, I considered asking him to marry me but instead I ate my donut from Tim Horton’s.
This has been a story from campus.
